Optimistic or Pessimistic. The effort is the same.

Could be a long read. There have been times in my life when circumstances have allowed me to clearly read the handwriting on the wall. I readied myself and waited. More often than not the handwriting, or my understanding of it, was wrong. When things came to pass I would look back and try to figure out what went wrong. How did I miss it? What I found was that I had wasted time waiting and worrying. The waiting had consumed me. I sat and worried and waited and did little else. What a waste. I have been asked about the adoption of Sofia. I have an expected and hoped for outcome and I see it everyday. I can see Sofia walking with Deana, playing with the dogs, holding my hand. I have been asked what if, what happens when...if it doesn't work out. How is it possible that you can get from here to there and then back again with an adopted child. Not just any adopted child, but a child that is eight years old, with special needs and is six thousand sixty three miles away. Not to mention that she probably does not speak English. It goes back to 1983 when I walked out of the Principal's office and met Deana Gae Robinette and again 13 years later when I stood across from her on December 20th 1996. Stick with me because you need to fill in the blanks. 13 years went by in the blink of an eye. If I had it to do all over again there is a long list of things I would change. D reminds me of every single thing on a regular basis. Here is the point, I could have done better and optimism would have served me well. I have yet to experience an outcome good or bad, right or wrong that was made better by a pessimistic outlook. I imagine Sofia running around our house or sitting in the back seat of my truck. I pray and I hope and I believe. I would much rather be standing at the end of the path looking back and seeing what I had hoped for, what I had dared to dream about, realized or not. Imagine looking back and finding nothing but pessimism and worry. After all they say getting there is half the fun. Regardless of the outcome, I am going to enjoy this journey.